A Poem About Depression | World Mental Health Day

SILENT KILLER

Window rattle and groan
As a 747 makes it final descent into Heathrow.
The sterile hiss and hum
Of fluorescent flicker lighting overhead.
Primary colour stain
And fade into shade in the corner of a dated whiteboard.
They’re the things I notice
When the doctor asks me if I ever feel suicidal.

Well, I do.
In the moments when an entire ocean washes over my face and
The pressure bores into my temple like a jackhammer and
My cheekbones are straining under the weight and
The yellows of the world fade away and
Blue light turns to nothing and
Silence is deafening.

Not even
the bed
beneath
my feet
exists.

In those moments.
I just want to die.

Tip of the tongue stutter the words:
I am afraid.
I am alone.
I am lost.
Am I loved?
I am sorry.
I am not OK.
I am depressed.

When I try to say the words out loud
They are swallowed by adjectives easier to swallow.

I have depression
And I don’t know how to tell you.


WATCH THE VIDEO



READ MORE ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES WITH MENTAL HEALTH


5 Ways To Reset After Failure · 3 Ways To Change Your Perspective · 5 Life Lessons I Learned At University · 5 Reasons Why Perfectionism Sucks · The Difficulty With Treating Mental Health Problems At University · 5 Ways To Cope When Things Get Too Much · Choosing The Right Path In Life · How To Build A Bad Day Strategy · Being A Fashion Blogger With Anxiety · How To Silence Your Inner Voice · 5 Reasons To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others · Dermatillomania And Me · Can Positivity Be A Negative Thing? · Why I Decided To Stay At University


 
I wrote this poem about struggling to tell somebody exactly how you’re feeling when you’re depressed – something you can hear more about at the end of the video above. If you liked my poem, please do give the post or the video a share. It would mean a lot!
 


A Poem About Depression | World Mental Health Day | marthajaneedwards.com
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